Inscription Of Ra
by Diagnosis-Unknown
Summary: Eve Hathor was walking to her apartment and was hit by a car and somehow ended up in the Caribbean...alrighty then... JackOC
1. Take One

Take One

A champagne cork popped and laughter was herd around a group of friends at a local bookstore somewhere in Michigan.

"I can't believe you're leaving Eve! And to Egypt of all places! How exiting!" Ying said in her thick Japanese accent as she poured drinks for her long time friend, Eve.

"I can't either…but it's all I've dreamed of since I was a little girl." Eve replied, her steely eyes dropping to the glass in her hands.

A drunken arm draped over her shoulder and she looked up to see Travis Benker, her other co-worker smiling at her. He took her half filled glass out of her hands and swigged it down in a matter of seconds and sighed.

"You know a lady shouldn't drink." He said and his speech slurred noticeably, "It's, oh how do you say…unbecoming?"

Eve pushed his arm off and smiled. "Well, who told you I was a lady?" she taunted back and winked as she sauntered off.

Travis sucked in air and smiled at the retreating figure in the red dress and black heels and smiled seductively. "Damn…I'm jealous of her boyfriend…that's a nice piece of ass there…" he said to himself.

"What boyfriend" Ying said pouring more glasses. "Eve is single."

Travis's mouth dropped. "She told me she was taken!"

"Nope. She has been single since she started working here. She probably told you just to keep you from drooling. Smart girl." She said as she also walked off to socialize.

Travis looked at Eve, mirth in his eyes. "You bitch!" He said and he downed another glass adding to his traced state.

Eve was still smiling when she reached out and tapped her boss, Mrs. Leery, on the shoulder. The elderly woman's eyes lit up at the sight of her employee.

"Eve! I thought I wouldn't see you tonight! How are you?" she asked wrapping her arms around the 23 year old.

"I'm fine Mrs. Leery and you know I would never leave without seeing you." She consoled gazing at her lovingly.

"I know, but the anxiety is still there. Are you leaving?" she asked watching her walk to the coat rack.

Eve picked her black fake-fur coat out of the bunch and put it on. "Yeah, it's getting late and graduation is tomorrow. The last thing I need is black bags under my eyes during the celebration."

"You're right. I wish you luck and I'll see you at noon tomorrow. Remember I want a picture for my scrapbook!" she said as Eve left nodding and smiling.

She walked down Main Street with her coat tightly hugged around her.

'_Tomorrow is the last day of college... then off to Cairo... for four years… my dream!' _ She thought smiling brightly to herself. She crossed the street to her apartment and fumbled with the keys. A screech from tires was her and she turned and saw the truck coming towards her at a frightening speed.

She froze and her mouth dropped in horror as the headlights blinded her vision.

Searing pain in her head woke Eve from her unwelcome slumber. She inhaled deeply the scent of blood and sea breeze. Her hand went to her head as she sat up.

"What happened? Where am I?" she asked herself.

"Malady, are you alright?" a man's voice asked from behind.

Eve turned around and took in the gentleman. He was dressed in odd clothing, 17th centaury, consisting of a white undershirt, blue overcoat, and blue pants and black buckle shoes. He also wore an old style wig that was used by the English at that time.

She pondered a moment trying to remember if there was a recreation of some kind that she didn't remember. There was none that she new of.

"Malady? You have an injury on your head! What has happened?" the man said with concern in his deep voice.

Eve snapped out of her daze. "I do?" she asked quizzically.

He looked her over. "It doesn't look too serious…but, if you don't mind me asking, what is the origin of your odd wardrobe?"

Eve looked down at her simple red dress. It seemed quite normal when she chose it for the party. Looking down, she saw she was sitting on a wooden deck. How could that be? She was crossing Main Street and was hit by a car while opening the door to her apartment complex, there was no wood in site.

She looked around and saw to her left was a very large, very old, naval ship. Part of the recreation maybe? She continued looking around and saw the beach. Why was she at a beach and a recreation and not in a hospital? What in the hell was going on?

The navy man lifted her up and she brushed herself off. "Where did it come from?" he asked again.

"What in the world are you speaking of? My dress is quite normal. I should be asking what you're wearing. Better yet, what event are you recreating sir?" she asked.

"Recreating? I believe you have hit your head harder than I thought Miss…?" he stopped, looking at her.

"Eve Hathor. And you?"

"James Norrington. Commander of the British Navy in the Caribbean at your service." He replied bowing respectively.

"Right…well, I do believe I should be seeing a doctor now…I think I may have brain damage…" she said smiling.

"Right, Miss Hathor. This way please." He instructed lending his arm to her.

Eve took it and was lead down the docks. Looking around at her surroundings, she noticed that everything was dated back to some English 17th century past. It all looked authentic.

They walked down a few streets and up a private road to a large mansion.

"Here we are. This is the closest doctor I know of. She's quite good really." He gloated as he knocked.

After a moment, a servant looking man opened the door and let them into a sitting area. A moment later, a young woman about her age came in smiling brightly wearing a long, cream dress with white shoes and her golden hair down slightly past her shoulders.

Eve stood alongside the 'Commodore' and shook the young woman's hand.

"Good afternoon Elizabeth. How's William?" James asked sitting back down when Elizabeth took her seat in the arm chair.

"Oh, just fine James. He's working now. What brought you and this woman here to my home on my day off?" she asked with fake anger in her voice.

"My apologies Elizabeth, I was walking down the docks admiring the ships and found Miss Eve Hathor lying on the dock near one of them. It seems that she has hit her head. I thought you could take a look to see its severity." He replied motioning to her.

Eve smiled and nodded to the medicine woman. "If you wouldn't mind." She said somewhat sheepishly.

"No! Oh dear not at all! Come to the back. That's where my office is." She said. "James, ask the servants if you need anything."

James stood. "No thank you Elizabeth. I must be going. I hope you are alright Miss Hathor. Good day to you both." He concluded as he bowed and left.

"Well," Elizabeth said taking her arm and leading her to a large office "let's get started."

Eve sat on a seat and Elizabeth inspected her wound. "It looks nasty, but it's treatable." She explained while she cleaned the wound and patched it.

"All done. She said as she admired her work.

"What recreation is this?" Eve asked.

Elizabeth looked at her oddly.

"What recreation?" she asked.

"You know, what 17th century are you recreating?" Eve restated.

Elizabeth sat in front of her. "This is the 17th century Miss Hathor. This is no recreation."

Eve stood. What in the hell was going on? Maybe she was dreaming? What was she going to do? Should she tell this woman and risk being locked in an insane institute if it was real? Dream insane institutes are the worst anything could happen. No. She would figure this out on her own. She'd play along for the time being until she sorted this out, and hope she didn't die.

She noticed Elizabeth looking at her, and then herd a door slam down stairs.

"That must be Will." Elizabeth figured.

She stood and walked down the stairs and Eve followed. She saw a trimmed, handsome man with blue pants and a white ruffled shirt with black buckled shoes. His brown hair was to his neck and slicked back in sweat.

"Hello Elizabeth." He said as he looked at her lovingly.

He looked past her to Eve and smiled. "And who is this?"

"I'm Eve Hathor. Miss Elizabeth was tending a wound I had." She said looking at him.

"I'm William Turner, Elizabeth's husband. You must be American with that accent. You don't see many of them in the Caribbean, especially with the conflict going on." He babbled.

"Well, I for one 'elive the Brits should leave 'em alone." A voice said from behind.

Eve looked behind William to the man behind who was in the process of walking to her. He looked quite unkempt and…she studied him closer…is that…no it can't be…Jonny Depp? HOW?

He approached and looked at her oddly. "Quite a revealing dress, luv. Might give the wrong impression." He said looking her up and down.

Embarrassment reddening her face, she slapped him and oddly it echoed.

"Don't think I deserved that…"


	2. Take Two

**Take Two**

Elizabeth hid a snicker along with Will.

"Bloody 'ell! What was that for!" Jack questioned rubbing his red cheek.

"What in the seven circles of hell is going on here? Why are widely accla

imed stars here? Why am I not in a hospital or even dead?" Eve asked pacing back and forth on the Persian rug.

"Are you alright Miss Hathor? Why would you need to be in a hospital?" Will asked as he took a seat.

Eve followed suit and rest her tired head in her hands. Elizabeth sat near Will, and Jack sat as far away from Eve as possible, incase she decided to become more violent.

"I was walking home from a party in Michigan. We were cele

brating our last night as students at college, and the fact that I was accepted for a job in Egypt as a translator of hieroglyphics in ancient tombs."

"That sounds exiting Miss Hathor!" Elizabeth interrupted.

"Ye it does. But that still doesn't explain why you're supposed to be dead." Jack pointed out leaning forward interested.

"Well, if you would let me finish, I might be able to clear it up for you." Eve spoke agitated causing everyone to become quiet.

"Right. As I was saying, after the party, I walked home to my apartment and was hit by a car I guess…" she concluded looking up at her hosts. "And now, I'm here."

"Well I don't know what to say Miss Hathor but-" Will started but was interrupted.

"It's Eve, thank you." She corrected, smiling.

"Eve, you're welcome to stay here if you like." He off

ered.

"Of course you can! You can stay in my room Eve. I could always use the company…" Jack implied impishly.

Eve rolled her eyes in mock. "If that is truly the case, I would rather but a bullet through my brain."

Jack shifted. "Oh c'mon luv! No one can resist Captain Jack Sparrow! Especially in that attire!" he contorted with a smirk looking at her impurely.

Eve stood and walked to him seductively. She smiled at the look of lust in his chocolate eyes and leaned close to his face. Jack's breath hitched.

"I believe it is you, Captain Jack Sparrow, who cannot resist me in this attire." She whispered breathlessly into his ear.

Jack was still staring at her as she turned and walked away, all the time her angle cut dress swaying with each move and clinging to each curve. She stopped and turned to look at him when she reached Will and Elizabeth. She raised one hand and smiled. Just what was this bloody woman thinking?

In one swift moment and in slow motion too, it came back down, landing on her ass with a painful smack. He sat shocked along with the hosts.

"Oh Jack!" she shuddered as she lifted her other hand and repeated the process.

"Jack! Oh dear God Jack!" she screamed as she continued. "More! More! Please more!"

Elizabeth and Will were at a lost for words at the outburst. "Oh dear!" Elizabeth ached while her face continued to redden.

Jack was getting the worst of it all. He squirmed even more at her pleadings for him. '_Is this woman mad?'_ he thought as he stood and started to Eve, hands out stretched.

Will took this as the time to stop the…transpiring events before they became…worse, if that was indeed possible. He turned Jack forcefully by the shoulders and turned him around. "Let's find you a room Jack, quickly" he said.

"I want one with her!" Jack protested, pointing to Eve asshesmile at him innocently as he was led away.

"I bet you do." Eve yelled to him. "Because I'm just a poor horny girl, livin' in a lo—nly world!" she sang quoting a Journey song.

"Damn you woman!" Jack yelled as the door slammed behind him and Will.

Eve burst into a fit of giggles and looked at the smiling Elizabeth beside her.

"You know he's going to try to get you into his bed now." She pointed out leading her to her room.

"Yes I know. But that will make it easier to make him psycho and make me in turn, a hell of a lot happier here." She explained.

"I like you more and more every moment…" Elizabeth informed her as they walked on.

* * *

Eve slept well that night in the large silk bed that Will and Elizabeth graciously provided for her. Lucky for her, Jack wasn't told her location so he could try and 'woo' her, allowing her to sleep as well as you could when it was a sauna in the Caribbean at night...damn climate.

She yawned and dressed in the clothing she wore yesterday then brushed her hair out and let it curl at the bottom on its own. When she finished that, she wiped the eyeliner that decided to smear, off her cheek and walked down to the living like room to sit.

Looking around, she saw that no one was up yet. Half sighing and half yawning, she plopped down on the sofa and tucked her legs under her and rested her head on her hands on the arm. She only stared into space blankly, void of all thoughts. She stayed like that until an arm snaked along her shoulder and she felt a hairy chin on her elbow.

"Mornin', luv," Came a rough voice from beside her "why are ye up so early?"

Eve looked beside her with a bored expression at Jack's cockily smiling face. She tried to shake him off and when it appeared that he would not budge, she gave up and pouted.

"What do you want Jack." She asked annoyed.

"_Captain,_ my dear." He corrected still smiling.

"I reeealy don't give a damn Jack." She drawled out. " Why are you bothering me? Don't you have anything better to do?" she replied sarcastically.

Jack's smirk faltered slightly and he sat up. "Not really. They usually don't sleep in but I s'pose they had an 'eventful' night, if you catch me drift." He implied nudging her.

Eve smiled broadly. "Yeah they probably did, thanks to my performance last night. They probably imitated me. I can see it now, Will is laying on the bed as Elizabeth walks around the edge smacking her rump moaning Will's name in ecstasy." She painted out giggling.

"Woulda never expected 'at to come from a lady." Jack managed through his own bursts of laughter.

With Eve distracted, Jack took this opportunity to pin her down on her back and look at her below him…soft curves, long legs, and large breasts…with a beautiful face and big eyes that were an unknown color to him. He snapped out of his daze and saw the devilish look in her eyes.

"Would you like to continue where we ended off last night…" she asked smiling.

Jack's grin couldn't get any bigger, "I'd love to.." he replied leaning closer.

Eve's smile brightened as she placed her knee in between his legs and kicked as hard as she could. She watched as his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and she rolled him off as he clutched his damaged goods and continued to wheeze.

This is the exact moment Will decided to walk in. He stopped at the site before him and rushed to Jacks side helping him up. By now, Eve was up and heading to the hallway.

"Is Elizabeth awake?" she asked nonchalantly.

Jack glared at her while fumbling for his pistol. Will quickly stopped him. "Yes. She's in the kitchen." He managed to say while trying to subdue Jack.

"Thanks. Oh, and Jack, I'm glad we could finish last night." She mocked while she left.

Jack made one last attempt to get out his pistol.

AN:

Yes this is the second chapter and still no reviews…damn you! lol


	3. Take Three

**Author Blab**

Yes, well, ahem it's apparent that it's a hell of a lot easier to write in 1st person point of view, so I'm going to give it a try and you all are my willing and grateful guinea pigs; Sadly, I must minus the electric shots…pity. Anyway, tell me which flows better.

* * *

**Take Three**

I've been here for about three days and I already wish for a Starbucks... And it's true that you really don't miss the damn thing until it's gone. Well, on a better note, I haven't seen that barbarian Jack for a while…maybe he died… I did a mental dance and to my utter glee… And he chose this exact moment to walk in to the kitchen…damn him.

I was cooking something, what it was, I didn't know, but that wasn't the point. When you knee someone in the family jewels, they usually make a note to stay the hell away from the one who did it and not make themselves a walking target! Maybe he didn't learn his lesson the first time…he could be a slow learner... Hey, you never know.

"Afternoon, luv." He said smiling, clearly keeping his distance.

That's a good dog. I kept chopping the onion into small pieces and mentally cheered. "Yeah, same here." I shot back intelligently as I put the pieces into the pan. I took out some meat and threw it in and watched it sizzle and pretended it was Jack.

Burn baby…buuuuuuuurn!

I was so intense on my torture, I sadly failed to notice the creep come behind me. Curse my enveloping fantasies.

"Whatcha cookn' luv?" he asked looking over my shoulder.

I spun around, and ended up smacking my forehead into his jaw. "Damn it! Why in the hell would you do that!" I interrogated rubbing my head.

He rubbed his jaw a moment and sat down. "Apologies, luv. Just curious on what smells so good."

Sighing and feeling slightly bad about the whole situation, I sat beside him on a separate chair. "Alright…well, I don't know what it is." I answered truthfully.

"I think we started off on the wrong foot." He stated looking at me.

"What made you think that, the slapping or the kick in the balls?" I asked noting that he visibly cringed.

"Both. I really came here to try to 'start things over' as bloody Will put it." His face scowled and I smiled.

"So, Will put you up to this, eh?" I inquired raising an eyebrow.

He smiled back. "Only the starting over part; I was curious on what smelled good."

I looked back to the fire when I smelled something burning and saw my meal up in flames. My shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Yes…what smelled good…" he repeated in the past tense as I put out the flames with a towel.

"And that showed promise too…" I said mourning the lost of my lunch.

I put the cloth in the water and sat back down by Jack and he looked at me. "We can begin the process of 'starting over' by you buying me something to eat, comprende?" I asked taking the apron off. I thought about telling him that I haven't eaten since last night…nope, I'll eat the bastard out of house and home…or ship...or something.

He smiled oddly. "Like a date?"

"Do I have to castrate you?" I threatened eyeing him.

"Castrate?" he asked clearly confused of the word of the 21st century that makes men cower and hide in horror and make Gollem impression with their 'rings'.

"That means I remove your two best mates." I informed.

"Me wha-" He started to ask when he saw what I was looking at.

His face went pale and I laughed maniacally in my head. I just introduced him to the terror of the women in the 21st century.

I feel much better.

* * *

**Author Blab**

I know this was short, but I thought I should try this POV before writing a decent length one. No use putting effort into something that doesn't work. Well, R&R or I will really castrate Jack and I don't care how many fan girls maul me over it…I'm just cool like that.

**Review Thanking Corner**

**rienaeotaku**- Thanks! I don't know when, but I want it to be built up. I don't like it when it's love at first site...you don't see any of Jack's pervertedness really. It wont take forever though, that's for sure!

**DugaDugabowbow**- Thank you oodles and I will do my personal best! (don't expect much though)


	4. Take Four

Disclaimer: I own only Eve. Everyone else is not.

Author Blab

Well, I like the 1st person POV more than the third, so I will continue. I don't know how much longer I'll have AOL for…I think until the ninth… Anyway, I'll write as much on this story as I can until then. Hopefully I'll find a way to post, but if not, apologies.

Take Four

Now, as you read before, this little outing was meant ONLY to fill the black hole in my stomach, but when I ventured to ask Elizabeth for something to wear, she kept calling it a date… Ok, let me clear a little something up,

THIS IS NOT A GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING DATE!

Ahem…thank you. Moving on now…

I finally got her to shutup long enough for me to get a decent dress on, well, as simple as this damn time could offer. So here I am, in a cotton blue dress…and it's hot. Really hot. Hot enough to fry an egg on my forehead. Hot enough to burn jello for Christ's sake! I don't think jello was invented yet though…pity. I like jello, especially when you put little pieces of peach or other fruit in the mix and no matter how much you jiggle it, it never moves! Maybe we could use jello to protect the Earth from asteroids and aliens or cure world hunger or something…

Back on topic, I walked back down to the living room to get Jack. I peeked over and saw him playing with a compass on the couch. What a small mind…

Stumbling over, unnoticed, I tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around and smiled.

"Stunning." He said standing up and walking beside me, clearly checking me out.

I sighed and flicked him on the nose. "No! Bad dog!" I said sternly.

He looked puzzled a moment, but shook it off. "Shall we go?" he asked introducing his arm.

"Yes, I'm starved." I answered taking his arm.

I noticed his satisfied smirk and mentally slapped myself.

Why am I so blonde?

* * *

We walked about for a while looking for somewhere decent to eat, which was pretty cool minus the fact that kept looking at my boobs…Hey, it's not my fault that my honkers are bigger than Elizabeth's and are being pushed up to my neck…But the important thing is that Jack's happy right?

…..

Nope, don't care.

So, I looked over to a small eatery like place on the opposite side of Jack. I inhaled deeply the smell of fish and fresh bread. I heard my stomach growl in want.

"We eat there." I stated in a caveman like voice.

Jack looked where I was staring and back to me in a double take. "There?" he asked.

"Yes. There." I confirmed in an 'Object and die' attitude.

"Right. Of course. Where else." He said in a detested voice.

We walked in and were seated by the window and I noticed that Jack was acting kinda funky….a real weird kinda funky, UN 'Jack'funky like.

Ignoring that for the time being, I looked at the menu and sighed. Not a damn double decker in site. What kind of a world is this? I need my arteries to be CLOGGED! As I continued my futile search for something that contained fat, I was forced to stop since Jack was acting like he was on crack or something. He was looking around and ducking whenever someone passed. My eye started to twitch.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked clearly agitated.

His eyes did a little shift to the side before whispering to me.

"Well, luv, I'm not to well liked in Port Royal 'and we're nigh 'lose to a window. Get me drift?" he motioned at the window.

"I see…you're the bad seed of this 'lil old sandbox, huh?" I smiled at his face as it looked at me in mock disbelief.

"I wouldn't say 'at! I prefer misunderstood!" he attempted.

I laughed and stood. "Well, let's get out of here before your ass gets arrested."

He stared at me for a moment before showing one of his trade mark smirks. "I like the way you think, luv…" he stated following suit.

I raised an eyebrow for a moment before heading out. We walked in silence until we reached the docks. I sat down on the edge Indian style and Jack stood.

"I'm still hungry." I stated out of the blue.

I heard him chuckle and plop down beside me. "Aren't she beautiful?" he asked looking to the sea.

I looked out myself and nodded. It indeed was a site to see, so peaceful and calm…

"SPARROW!"

We both jumped and turned. It was Commodore Norrington. I wonder what got his silk panties in a bunch… He was hastily walking over to us.

"Hey Commodore- HEY!" Jack lifted my up by my arm and dragged me further down to the docks.

"What the fuck are you doing!" I screamed when he tossed me over his shoulder.

I saw Norrington running after us with a few soldiers. He looked oddly concerned when we reach a small rowboat.

"SOMEONE HELP ME DAMNIT! HEEEELP!" I screamed.

Don't get me wrong, Jack is ok and all, but when you only know someone for about four days and they toss you over their shoulder and get in a row boat….WAIT!

I made an 'oof' when I hit the bottom of the small wooden piece of shit. I sat up and saw Jack starting to row.

"No. Fuck no! Jack Sparrow let me off this thing NOW!" I demanded.

He looked up angrily. "If I do 'at, I'd be condemning me self. And I can afford it now." He said matter of factly.

I saw the Commodore looking at us leaving before running to another large ship where I first woke up, and I noticed the shore getting smaller and smaller.

"Might as well 'elp…"he said handing me an oar.

I looked at him for a moment and then at the wood…

"BLOODY HELL!"

And I smacked the bastard in the head with it.


	5. Take Five

**Chapter Five**

**Yes, I've finally have my beloved internet back…I'm kinda winging it on this chapter so, if you don't like it, tell me and I will make a note to not care…thank you.**

---------------------------------------

I was lifted onto the ugly boat by a black woman in ragged clothes. She looked at me oddly as she did. I think it was this damn dress. Come to think of it, I hate this dress.

Why you ask?

Because Jack is under me and you can only guess what the perverted bastard is doing…dear god thank you I'm wearing leggings…I can feel him watching me…that's it! He's getting a kick in the sack.

I stepped on board and walked foreword, ignoring the filthy men's stares. One started to tug at my dress and I turned and looked down.

It was a midget…a fucking midget…

If someone were to give me a gun, I would let it off on as many people as I could and then shoot myself. And Jack gets it first.

Speaking of Jack, I herd him walking up behind me and I turned to look. I smiled inwardly at the bruise now forming on his head.

"So, luv," he said in a bland tone "What do ya think I should do wit ya?"

"Are you kidding me??" I asked, folding my arms under my breasts.

His head cocked back and he smiled. "No, luv, I'm not."

I rolled my eyes and finally noticed everyone staring at me. I stepped back to the railing to get some space and all eyes followed.

"Anything I really say is going to be a no, so, what's the point in asking?" I pointed out while leaning on the edge.

All eyes were now fixed on Jack, who was slowly walking to me. My eyebrow arched. What the hell was he doing?

"You're standin' too close to the edge for your safety…mind stepping away?" he asked closing the distance between us.

I was seriously depicting weather or not to try my luck with the fishes when I saw a ship coming our way. I pointed in its direction and smiled knowingly at Jack. He turned around and looked at the same thing I was. He cursed quietly under his breath about stupid Commodores.

"Everyon' to their bloody stations, NOW!" he shouted to the onlookers.

"What ar' we to do Capin'? Fight or flee?" an older man with white facial hairs asked Jack.

Jack looked to the oncoming ship and thought. "Flee. We're far enough away to give it a shot."

"Aye. What 'bout the lass?" said the unknown man, as he shot a glare my way.

'_Oh fuuuck no…"_ I thought clenching my teeth.

Jack looked me over once before turning and walking towards the helm. "Take 'er to me cabin Gibbs. Lock the door so she don't be trying to get out."

"Egh…" I sighed as I was, not to nicely, pushed by a filthy guy to where Jack's cabin was located.

The door was shut behind me before I knew it, and I was left alone…in someone else's room…what a baaad idea.

So doing what I do best, I rummaged through all his stuff, and I mean ALL his stuff…and I though it extremely odd that he had a few bras in his room…

Note to self…count personal items.

I herd shouting above deck and wondered if Jack had gotten himself shot yet.

"Luv?"

One could only have hoped….

Jack stood in the doorway with the most arrogant grin on his face. He walked over to where I was seated on a wooden chair and looked down at me.

"Yes Master?" I asked in a sarcastic tone, which he apparently didn't get.

"Master? I knew you'd come round!"

I wanted to hit him soooooooooooooo bad…

And I did. Right in the face.

He fell back cursing up a storm while holding his nose. By the Gods I hope I made him bleed….

He looked at me, trying to glare as I smiled and laughed my ass off. He went for his pistol again, but he was too close. I tackled him and jammed my elbow in his gut. He let go of the gun in pain, and I took it and aimed it at his head. He froze.

"Now that I have you attention, why did you take me on this boat?" I asked, cocking the gun.

"Ship. _Ship_!" He corrected while making an insulting face.

"What ever..." I rolled my eyes at his defense.

"I'd like that big gun out of my face if you don't mind, luv." He made a move for the gun.

In one swift move, I raised it above his head, and brought it down full force and knocked him out. He fell to the floor with a thud. I sighed…this was not my day…

I lifted him on his bed and hid the pistol in a safe place, where he would never look…under his bed.

I know, I'm brilliant, no need to compliment me.

I stole some of his clothed (white top and brown pants), and decided to go barefoot. The heels didn't really go with the outfit. I put up my hair, and walked outside closing the door behind me.

Now was the time to try my acting skills.

Let's see if I can play Captain.

Review Corner

**Audra Kaiba**- Thanks, I try!

**Clymestra**- I appreciate that…I wanted to make something different from all the others…glad it's working!

**Audra Kaiba**- Thanks, **I'll** wip them out when I can.

**Kurama13**- Thank you veeeery much.

**CrystalizedTearsOfRemorse**- Thanks Katie-bear!

**Sayae**- Yes, he did deserve it..lol

**SilverGhostKitsune**- one can only hope…hehehe evil grin

**Stephanie Ridings**-can't beat the classics! XD

**Electronic Pony**-glad you like it!

**ThunderBenderPrincess**- I'll see if I can do that…thanks fot your idea!

**Mean titan**- he's a tough cookie…who happens to be extremely hot!!

**ElvenPwner**- You get the job, since you asked first. balloons fall from the ceiling and confetti falls everywhere with cheap music in the background YAAAAY!! You start next chappi!! XD


	6. Take Six

**Author's Note**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah...haven't updated in a few...years...**

**But I am now, so you can go ahead and exhale that held breath. I may try another method of Eve's character...tell me what ya think.**

**Take 6**

Ok...the more and more I thought about this idea of being Captain...the lamer and lamer it became...

So I tried another aproach. What if I appeared as one of the sailors, and snagged a life boat, and went to shore?

...if this thing even had life boats...which was debatable.

With who, I do not know...but it was still debatable.

I strolled unnoticed by the other grungy sailors...until I bumped into one..

I'm such a klutz...

He looked at me, clearly surprised at my height of 5'10.

It ain't my fault I'm tall...

"What are ye doin' lass?" he asked with a slurr. Is every fucking one drunk here??

I cleared my voice as best as I could whilst making a 'whateva, I do what I want' face.

"I was told to clean the life boats." I told him staring back with feigned confidence.

He stared back confused. And I stared back at his confusion with my confusion. I was clear wasn't I?

Oh shit...what if it really DIDN'T have life boats?? Why wouldn't it?? If it didn't, it was fucked where insurace was concerned.

That, and they would all die if there was some sort of 'accidental' fire around the time when I left...

Not that I would do it. I don't have anything against anyone but Jack.

And that guy over there...yeah...fuck that guy...

The man started to snap his nasty finger infront of my face. How long was I out??

I focused my gaze back on him and he looked kinda pissed that I ignored him. Althought it was unintentional.

Didn't he know I was half retarded?

If he didn't, he should.

"What do you want NOW??" I asked a little peeved.

"I want to know where ye goin'! The boats are the OTHER way." he said with equal aggrivation.

"Oh...I knew that." I replied turning around and making my way in the opposite direction.

After not even a minute of walking, I came upon the life boats...

The moldy, stinky, 'how in the hell can this thing even float' life boats.

I swear the stench off this thing would end your life.

Therefore cancelling out the need for one in the first place.

But, this was my only way out of here and I could bet Jack would be waking up soon. I bet he would be veeeeery peeved at me for the little stunt I pulled.

Quietly and unnoticed, I climbed into the matchbox of doom and easily figured out how to lower the damned thing into the water. Which took foooooooorevvver mind you.

I could almost touch the water with my hand when I her screaming of the crew. Something about port side.

Damn hippie lingo...

I happened to glance to my left and saw a ship.

That Norringwaggles-dude's ship!!

Heeeeeeeeells yeah!!

I dislodged the boat from the giant boat, and started to row to it.

And it was decided by me that I was the worst rower in the known universe. I was like a retarded animal baby with toothpicks for legs.

After a few minutes of rowing (badly), I was slowly making progress towards the other ship. I was about thirty yards away from boat A (Jack's) and two hundred from boat B (Norringwaggles-dude's) when I looked up and saw Jack had woken up.

And had serious bed-head. Awwwww, poor guy.

And he may haved looked a little upsed.

Ok, more than upset.

Maybe a little angry.

Alright, furious.

Pissed.

Ok, ok, ok!

...Murderous.

I've never had someone look at me so peeved before. What crawled up his ass?

I kept rowing, trying to avoid eye contact. Why did rowing have to be done backwards?? Where he could see me??

I could feel his gaze buring holes in my skin.

He should have had fucking laser vision like Superman or something.

I made one last glance at him as I was only fifty yards from boat B. His face looked funny. Maybe it was because I was so far away, but he looked kinda...scared?

Yeah...it was definatly the distance.

I turned to see how far I was away from boat B. Wierd square shaped wooden pannels were being removed.

Oh cool. They're letting me come in through the side door.

Go me!

...then the cannons came out.

Oh shit...

I looked back at Jack and realized his boat was doing the same thing.

At that moment I realized why he was so scared.

My dinky little stinky, moldy, 'how in the hell can this thing even float' life boat was dead center.

And Jack was the only one who noticed me.

In my little matchbox of doom.

--

**Read and review you...readers!!**

**yeah...take that...**


	7. Take Seven

**Yeeeaaaah. I'm back homies! I'm going to try to make this chapter a decent length. **

**Oh yeah, and check out another story I Co-wrote with ****CrystalizedTearsOfRemorse**** called **The Famous, The Infamous, and The Lame. 

**It's about how these two chicks are transported to the Naruto world and yada yada yada...They have no ninja powers, no common sense, and hell; they don't even speak the same language… Imagine how that must suck...At least they have their Jeep with them...maybe a hit and run would make them feel better.  
**

**So, I think you should check it out and review. If you like humor and perverseness, then this story is a great read. Chapter two is up in a so don't worry about updating problems…two people are working on this story so it rolls faster. **

**I do not own POTC. Only Eve.**

--

**Take 7**

The two large ships edged even closer to one another. This meant even closer to me. And that sucked. I started to pivot my little boat to at least attempt to get out of the danger zone. But, I still sucked at rowing, so it didn't help in the least.

"C'mon...c'mon boats...MOVE!" I mumbled as I began to get frustrated.

I looked back to Norringtonwaggle's boat and noticed that no one noticed me. I stood and started to wave my hands at the crew that were furiously working to man the cannons.

"HEY!! HEEEEYY!! DOWN HEEEERREEE!!"

My cries went unheard and they carried on with their duties as I my heart started to beat faster and faster in realization. If I didn't get out of the way soon, I was toast.

Toast with no butter.

And that wasn't good for me at all...

I looked back to Jack's ship, but the people only looked like ants so I couldn't make out any clear faces. But I could tell that their wood plate things weren't up, so I only had to worry about one set of cannons lighting me up like the fourth of July. Yeeeaaaah.

I sat back down and as soon as my ass hit the wooden bench, a thunderous boom echoed throughout sea

It was Norrington's ship fired and luckily I was close enough to his ship that I wouldn't be directly hit by the cannon ball. I pursed my eyes together and put my hands over my ears to try to deafen the sound splitting bang. I opened my eyes slightly only to have a rather large plank of wood knock me over the head and send me toppling onto the floor of my super deluxe ship.

I shook my head attempting to disperse the little duckies that started to fly around my head. It worked, but unfortunately my sight turned to an odd form of tunnel vision that caused me to bring up any food that had made its way into my stomach.

Bringing myself to the edge just in time, I hurled like a pro. I'm not sure if there are hurling contests though…

Guess I won by default.

I sat on the edge of the dinky boat and put my head between my shaking knees. Why in the hell did I leave Jack's boat?? Right now, I would rather be there than in this situation…And that's saying something.

The tunnel vision wasn't clearing, and that made me wonder just how bad the knock to my head was.

Another bang sounded. I didn't care at this point to even bother to see who it came from. I closed my eyes and hoped I wouldn't be hit with any rogue fire, seeing that I could do no more to avoid it than stop it.

My head started to pound and I winced while clutching my tender noggin.

Suddenly, I felt an odd jolt in the boat.

'Oh just great….I'm going to open my eyes…and there will be a fucking hole in this piece of ship… '

Opening my eyes, I could have sworn my heart stopped.

There, right in front of me, was Norrington. A slow smile swept across my face as I looked at him thankfully.

"Are you all right Miss Eve?" he asked taking my hand and helping me up.

I held my head for another moment as I stood. He held my elbow to steady me.

"I think so…something fell of your damn ship and hit me in my head…."

He looked at me apologetically and led me to the probably semi-stable rope ladder. "I'm sorry for not noticing you…" he began and I waved him off.

"Don't worry about it Norrington-"

Norrington interrupted, "James, Miss Eve. Call me James."

I looked at him a moment to see his lips tighten.

"Ok, James…." I turned to the rope ladder and started to climb up.

Two middle-aged sailors helped me onto the ship before James began to climb. They looked more…well, clean that the men on Jacks ship. I took it as a plus as I surveyed the new vessel.

It was roughly the same size as Jacks, but it looked like a newer model. I smirked slightly as a thought passed.

I totally upgraded.

Maybe it was a good idea that I left in the life boat…minus the near death experience and all.

I looked off the side of the ship where Jack's ship was only to see it turning into a speck on the creamy horizon.

'Looks like he made his grand escape…' I thought.

"Commodore, sir!" came an annoying nasally voice from behind me.

I turned around to see a rather plump and stout man power walking up to James. He was also wearing a white wig and dressed like he had some cash to his name.

"Yes, Mr. Moore?" came James's reply as he put his hands behind his back.

"Jack Sparrow's ship is fleeing! Should we follow?"

James looked towards the speck on the horizon and I saw a weird sparkle in his eye. "Do we have enough rations for a chase?" he asked the fat man.

"Sir, we have enough for three months. We restocked before we departed."

James smiled, "Looks like we're going to chase then, Mr. Moore."

Mr. Moore also smiled and went about shouting orders to the crew. They immediately started to hustle around me, giving odd stares as they went about.

"Miss Eve, I hope you don't mind traveling with me…" James began, snapping my attention to him.

He smiled slightly this time and continued, "I just do not wish to let that man escape my clutches again. And now that kidnapping is another one of his breech of ethics, I will not allow him to slip my grasp yet another time."

He looked at me hard for a moment, waiting for me to speak.

I thought a moment…this guy probably would let me leave his ship. I would take him up on his offer, but where in the hell would I go? The only people I knew here were the happy couple (Will and Elizabeth), Jack, and James.

If I left the safety of this dude, how in the hell would I manage?

I probably wouldn't…

So, my best bet was staying with James. At least I know he's one of the good guys…right? He saved me from being obliterated at least. That was a plus in my book. And he wasn't perverted like Jack…so far at least.

He could turn out to be closet rapist or something…

That would be my luck too.

I looked at James again. "Yeah…that's ok with me. I don't mind."

He seemed to be pleased with my response. "Excellent. Follow me Miss Eve."

I sighed and followed him under the ship, making sure to not bump into anyone.

'I guess things could be worse….oh shit….shouldn't have thought that…knock on wood!'

I reached a fist out and knocked on the polished wood wall.


End file.
